I wrote this mid-air, on my flight to Arizona for one of my best friend’s bachelorette parties. As I was swimming in mom guilt, I thought it would be a good post to write about ways I try to cope with it. Ten months into parenthood, I have left BB for three weekends. I wish I could say it has gotten easier each time, but it hasn’t. But there are a few things that make it much easier to go.

Don’t wait too long.

A seasoned mama gave me some really great advice before we had BB. She told me not to wait too long to get some time away from the baby. That waiting 6 months to take a night away from her baby actually made it harder for her to leave. So, we took this advice and left BB overnight for the first time when she was 3 months old. That might be too soon for some parents, but it was perfect timing for us.

Ease into it.

The first time we left BB overnight, we dropped her at my parent’s house, put her down for the night, and came back the next morning before she even woke up. I knew I was a 25-minute drive away and I knew she was in good hands. We had planned to sleep in, enjoy the morning just the two of us, and head out for her later that afternoon. Well, my internal mama clock woke me up bright and early, I sprang out of bed and I HAD to get back to her.

Find great help.

I have never worried for BB’s well-being while I was away. That would be a terrible feeling. If you feel like you have to leave detailed instructions for your husband/SO for a weekend away, something has gone terribly wrong. I did, however, leave him with a fully stocked fridge, clean baby clothes, a special treat (those disgusting break and bake cinnamon rolls he can’t get enough of), and every emergency number there is.

There is never a good time to go.

Each time I leave her, I feel like it is a terrible time to leave. But guess what? There is never a good time to leave your baby. This time, she was in the throws of becoming a new walker. I love watching her Frankenstein across the room, fall over, and laugh. I was so scared that when I got home, those early walking days would be over and she would be running around like a proper toddler. I was gone for 48 hours. She is still falling ever other step.

Find friends who understand.

Mom guilt exists separately and apart from all other emotions. Every time I leave, I am so excited for whatever it is I am going to do. Missing BB does not detract from that. Find friends who understand and allow you 30 seconds to miss your baby and then snap you out of it.

It’s ok to need time for you.

You are not a bad mom for wanting some time away on occasion. And anyone who makes you feel like you are, shouldn’t be in your life. Maybe there are super moms who never need a break. But that is not me and never will be.

Come back refreshed.

There is no better feeling in this world than coming home to your baby after a weekend away. If you spend the entire time pining for your baby, how are you supposed to recharge and refresh? I try to allow myself the uber ride to the airport to wallow in my sorrows. But then it is time to relish in that moment when you realize you don’t have to be searched at the airport because you don’t have formula in your bag!

In case you need that extra push to take some time for yourself, here are some pics from my weekend in Arizona. If you are looking for a mom’s weekend away, Arizona offers all of the best: food, fun, and fitness.

Restaurant highlights: The Mission, True Foods Kitchen, In-N-Out Burger (obviously).

Places to stay: we stayed in an AMAZING rental on Camelback Mountain. If you love to hike, this is the place to stay.

Things to do: Hikes, Camelback Mountain has two hikes, one easy (not so easy) and one more difficult. Poolside yoga, so many amazing yoga instructors will come to your rental and do a private yoga lesson. I highly recommend it!

Go, take some time for yourself, mamas. You deserve it!